things that start out poorly....

AND things that start out well....

you never know what gold there is to mine from a situation until it reveals itself in its own miraculous and mysterious way.

my dad had a friend who once gave him this advice on raising kids — it has since become a mantra in our home:

“as long as they know that things that start out poorly don’t always end poorly AND things that start out well don’t always end well — they’ll be okay”

i’m trying to hold tight to that advice. we don’t know what gold there is to mine.

I went to a psychic recently who said I could have everything I want in this life but I have to speak to the universe twice a day and be grateful for what I have and for what is coming. it’s harder than you think — to name the thing you want. to say you’re grateful for a hard day. to even take a second in the midst of a hard day and say I’m grateful when you feel you’d rather trash the proverbial hotel room.

I know that from the hardest times, have always come the most surprising blessings. and i’m grateful for them.

here are the other things i’m grateful for this morning:

1. my little dog who is playing with other dogs comfortably for the first time since being attacked three years ago

2. the THREE broadway shows i’ve seen in the last week

3. my girlfriend who makes everything fun even surgery

   

4. my parents and my brother who are fierce and smart and fun and always available to chat

5. the fact that my job allows me to be on stage eight shows a week

6. the panic attack I had the other day — I don’t historically get panic attacks — but I did and I have — twice this month — at quite inopportune moments — but I made it through with (mostly) no one the wiser. i’m grateful for it because it showed even when i’m terrified I am strong enough to make it through — hell yeah!

7. the music i’ve got demoed and preparing to record this summer — it’s fun and loud and unapologetic and i think you’re really going to like it

8. my cast — the most supportive group of people who happen to be funny smart beautiful and talented

   

9. the way the seeds we planted on the equinox are sprouting

   

10. the cup of coffee I have in my hand

11. the song ‘growing pains’ by bishop briggs

12. Kym Worthy and the recent victory she had in Detroit proving once more how vital it is we end the rape kit backlog! read more here!

13. my oldest best friends in the world Annie and Avery coming to the play last night

14. my little broken finger that is now 95% healed and can do so many things now!

15. the sunshine — it’s beautiful today —

16. i’m grateful for the apartment I have and i’m grateful for how i’m going to clean it today

17. i’m grateful for all of the things that started and ended poorly and well that have led me here where it’s not all bad — in fact — it’s quite good at times.